Are There Closets in Heaven?; A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share their Story
Are There Closets in Heaven?; A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share their Story
It s always difficult for a child to tell her parents she is gay, regardless of how liberal or conservative her family might be. When the daughter is part of a devout Catholic family living in a small rural community, the parent-child relationship is exposed to even greater risk, often beyond repair. Are There Closets in Heaven? is a revealing first-person dialogue between a lesbian daughter, who had always dutifully tried to please her parents, and her Catholic father, an eighty-one-year-old farmer from Iowa. Through their letters and reflections, we see how courage and love made it possible for Bob and Carol Curoe to navigate the twists and turns of such a dramatic shift in their lives. This highly personal and often emotional exchange offers a gift of hope and inspiration to families who struggle with learning their child is not what they expected. Are There Closets in Heaven? Lets us experience the real lives behind debates taking place in today s media on same-sex marriage, constitutional amendments, gays and lesbians raising children, and religion.
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Review by John P. Freymann Jr. for Are There Closets in Heaven?; A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share their Story
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Carole & Bob,
Thank you for writing this wonderful book! I know too well the fears, worries and sleepless nights this journey has brought you. I too traveled Carol’s path.
Kevin and I grew up together, and long before Carol realized where she would find her soulmate, lifemate, and lovemate your family especially Bob & Joyce taught me that being Gay was acceptable, loveable and I could be one of your own. Your family accepted me, back then, as one of your own. And that has carried me through many dark days back into the light that we all live in today.
Your words, your passion, your love will bring hope, faith and love to many in our family today and each day that one mother, father, brother, sister, or child reads the profound, painful, fearful and loving story you have had the courage to share with us today.
Many of our brothers and sisters will now have the courage to live the life that God has asked of them.
Thank You!
Love,
John
Review by Daniel B. Clendenin for Are There Closets in Heaven?; A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share their Story
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When Robert Curoe was sixty-five, he came home for lunch one day to a most unwelcome surprise. His wife Joyce was in tears and handed him a letter from their daughter Carol: “Mom and Dad,” she wrote, “I’m gay.” Curoe was an Irish-Catholic farmer from Iowa. Catholic to the core, he didn’t even know any non-Catholics, he sent all his children to parochial schools, he had sisters who were nuns, and in his mind homosexuality was a grievous sin. To say that he was shocked, he says, would have been a gross understatement. Confusion, dread, and fear filled their lives. Four years later this initial shock was “eclipsed” by Carol’s announcement that she and her partner Susan were expecting a child by artificial insemination. The latter announcement forced their family to come out among their deeply conservative farming community.
Curoe was a loving father who wrote all six of his children a letter every week when they were in college. He sent his daughters roses for Valentine’s Day. Somehow, we’re not surprised that by the end of the story he’s become a staunch advocate of Carol and Susan, and of the greater gay cause. Father and daughter take turns writing alternate chapters in this memoir, beginning with early years on their Iowa farm. Each chapter rehearses the same experiences from their own perspectives. The story they tell operates at four overlapping levels– their extended family, their culturally conservative farm community, the greater arena of legal parity (health insurance, finances, housing, employment, etc.), and, of course, their religious perspectives as deeply committed Catholics. The memoir doesn’t candy-coat the anguish and tears that their family experienced, and father Curoe is forthright about his regrets, failures, and baseless stereotypes in the early going. But many families with a similar story are not so lucky. They might improve their chances for a similar healing journey by reading this book. The book concludes with a list of ten resources for gay families, and a list of ten questions for group discussion.
Review by Patricia C. Telgener for Are There Closets in Heaven?; A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share their Story
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This book is a must-read for all parents. It transcends gay issues and focuses on loving your children/family unconditionally. It is a great example of parents who moved beyond tolerance to acceptance and finally advocacy. Everyone should do their part to make sure basic human rights are available to all regardless of gender, religion or sexual orientation. This book goes beyond gay issues…I highly recommend it.
Review by Molly E. Menster for Are There Closets in Heaven?; A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share their Story
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These are the stories that need to be told… the book is brave, honest, engaging and human. I could not put the book down once I started reading. I felt like I was reading my story. I wish to express immense gratitude to Bob and Carol for generously sharing their stories.
Review by Donna Kurtz for Are There Closets in Heaven?; A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share their Story
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Carol’s unwavering honesty and openness in describing her sometimes conflicted relationships with her family, parents, and partner–Susan was extremely moving and thought provoking. Her commitment to direct dialogue and to share the truth must have been a tremendous inspiration to her parents, that ultimately led to her father co-authoring this book with Carol. As a reader Carol will inspire you to communicate openly, but with patience, persistance, and kindness to overcome the paradigms that can limit the potential fulfillment of our life’s potential. Because of this, I found the book fascinating and couldn’t put this down until I finished it!